Part 1: Names
When I first envisioned this newsletter, I imagined it as a collection of stories about other people’s courage. I hoped to motivate, entertain, and, ideally, inspire more brave acts in a "pass it on" sort of way. But my vision was overly optimistic. I am no journalist. I don’t have the expertise or time to gather others’ stories, nor do I have an audience submitting them. So instead—perhaps out of laziness—I’ve simply been writing about myself, following mental and emotional threads, and sharing whatever surfaces.
What I’m saying is… turns out, this is just a classic blog where I talk about my life.
While I’ve been thoroughly enjoying writing these posts, I’ve also found myself wondering whether these little autobiographical vignettes actually fit under the umbrella of courage, and I’ve been questioning if I should keep the name Journal of Courage. That is, until this week, when I unexpectedly came across this quote from Maya Angelou’s 2008 commencement speech at Cornell University:
“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.”
Philosophers could likely debate the relative importance of virtues for eternity, but I find Maya’s statement easy to accept. In these writings, I reflect on my life, and take personal inventory as I grow and (hopefully) become a better, more virtuous person. Now I see that beneath every endeavor I could ever write about lie tender questions about courage. Do I have the courage to put myself out there? To tell the truth? Am I brave enough to open my heart? To face the unknown? To keep going?
Courage is the bedrock and the initiator for all that I hope to become. And so, the name Journal of Courage shall remain. (Thanks, Maya!)
Part 2: Change
Last week, I was accepted into a great graduate program for counseling psychology— with a scholarship to boot! Which means… well, it means a lot of things are happening in the next six months.
Quitting jobs. Moving states. Starting a full-time master’s program. Oh, and also planning a wedding and getting married in the middle of all.
I am officially in a season of Big Change.
These are good, growth-oriented changes that I have invited into my life—not the rug-pulled-out kind (thank god). Nonetheless, the most important pillars of my life are getting entirely rearranged right now. I don’t yet have a clear sense of where I am, only that I am in it—oscillating between overwhelm and focus as I tackle the many tasks in front of me. To-do lists litter the kitchen table, and I feel excited, scared, hopeful, and more ungrounded than I’d like.
I cannot yet wax poetic about how this Big Change is changing me, nor neatly fold it into narratives about my past or future. I may not come to broader understandings until the dust has settled and my feet are firmly planted on the other side of it all. I’ll probably just be in it for a while.
For now, I am trusting that past me who invited in all of this change had more clarity than I do now—and keep going (with courage)!
Love,
Katia